When we think about compassion we think about nurturing self, being gentle emotionally, and giving ourselves the benefit of the doubt. In my private practice, I talk about compassion often, and I do my best to approach each client with as much compassion as possible. As a therapist, I like to define compassion along similar lines to Professor Paul Gilbert. Professor Gilbert, talks about compassion being defined as a sensitivity to the suffering of self and others, with a deep commitment to try to relieve or prevent said suffering. However, before we can commit to trying to relieve or prevent it, we must first become aware of our capacity to connect.
As a way to cultivate continued compassion during my sessions with patients, I make a point to be present. Being mindful allows me to cultivate awareness regarding the clients suffering. It also allows me to leave my own baggage at the door. It’s hard to be compassionate for others if we aren’t being mindful and fully present in the situation. Once I am fully present in the room with my clients, I am better able to attend to their emotional needs from a more authentic place. Compassion can flow easy once we show up fully. Once I have showed up I am better able to gain perspective and focus on intentionality. This therapeutic focus has many benefits, not just for the client but also for the therapist.
According to Emma Seppala’s article on compassion “10 science-based reasons why compassion is hot”, there are numerous benefits incorporated with the cultivation of compassion. Seppala does a beautiful job outlining the neurology – being compassionate makes our brain happy – just as happy as acquiring money. In fact, giving to others has a strong positive effect on our brain, even more so than when we give to ourselves. This is good news for fellow therapist. Think of this as a happiness bonus for all the hard work we put in!
Additionally, Seppala goes on to talk about the numerous benefits of compassion. Cultivating compassion can make us more attractive, it uplifts those around us, it can boost longevity and help with overall heath, it can change a bad day into a good day and the best part, it is contagious. Being compassionate toward someone else can set off a chain reaction that continues to pay it forward. Social scientist, James Fowler of UC San Diego and Nicolas Christakis of Harvard support this theory. They talk about how helping others is contagious and that acts of generosity and kindness can create a chain reaction that can affect many, even after your initial interaction. Compassion is a powerful tool, and if it used properly it can create strong connections.
Humans are hardwired for connection. Cultivating compassion can be a great way to connect to those around you. For some clients, especially those isolated due to their mental health, the compassion they feel from their therapist may be just what they need to feel connected to the world. Compassion has so many benefits, not just for our clients but for ourselves, and for the greater society at large. It is something that will continue to remain a major focus of my wo
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